"To work and create 'for nothing,' to sculpture in clay, to know that one's creation has no future, to see one's work destroyed in a day… this is the difficult wisdom that absurd thought sanctions. Performing these two tasks simultaneously, negating on the one hand and magnifying on the other, is the way open to the absurd creator. He must give the void its colors." Camus, from "Ephemeral Creation" in The Myth of Sisyphus
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Here’s Michael doing his favorite thing at Ruby’s birthday party on Saturday. More pictures to follow… when it’s not 2am and I haven’t been up all night trying to figure out new web stuff.
Strange fact: Every time I indulge in frozen yogurt from Yogurt Park, I wake up the next morning at least 2 pounds lighter. It’s happened at least 5 times now… and last night/this morning were no exception.
3rd project for Flash class: Create a banner ad. Well, here it is…
I slept, like, not at all the night before — up all night doing my little Flash cartoon for class (see below) — so… bad hair, face, attitude. When they announced my name as the recipient of Aunt Ann’s Above and Beyond Award this month (this is only the second time they have given this award) at our monthly staff meeting, I thought I’d pass out. Me? Really? I don’t even bring in any money. Denise called me an unsung hero, said that she trusts me implicitly and that I’m too hard on myself. But you know, it’s not hard. I love my job, and all I do at work is be myself — someone who enjoys doing a good job and finding ways to be creative and get involved. I’m really lucky to have a job where I can use a lot of my aptitudes and where my independent style is not only tolerated but encouraged.
4) Jury duty: Over! I sat through voir dire all last week until they had selected the perfect jury. My name never came up, so I have no idea if they’d have wanted me.
5) Had 3 gorgeously hot days here Saturday through Monday. This kind of heat makes me feel… embraced, safe, swaddled even. Just give me a cool drink, a pair of shorts, and an open window, and I am soooooo happy.
6) Today, on the other hand, is cold and foggy. Woke up this morning with killer cramps. Ate almost an entire box of See’s candy at work today, as well as leftover Thai food from yesterday’s birthday lunch for Marla. I wonder what else is in the refrigerator.
So I may be selected for the jury on the murder case of a San Jose Mercury News reporter who was found shot in her car 2 years ago. The defendant is her husband. It will be difficult to manage work and school along with serving on the jury, but part of me really hopes I am selected. For several reasons, which I’m too tired to go into right now. I have to go back to the courthouse on Tuesday to begin the selection process. (I did not have to go yesterday, but worked at Aunt Ann’s instead.) Blah blah blah… I’m boring myself.
What’s all this about Jewry duty? Haven’t I done enough for you people? I date your men! I make friends with your women! I swallow bitter herbs and cough syrup, I mean Manischewitz, at your seders! What more do you want from me at 2pm today at the Alameda County Courthouse, for goodness sakes?!? Weeping and wailing? Gnashing of teeth? I could do all that just as well at home, with a nice bowl of matzo ball soup, while watching CNN replay September 11 footage over and over and over…
If I wear my Charm School Reject T-shirt, will you let me go home?
So, yeah. I skipped a bunch of days back there. Get used to it. Winter’s coming. It’s only going to get worse.
Read Ruby’s new Blog: Today’s Gem for details on the weekend spent at her house setting up her new Dell computer, The Black Pearl. Missed meditation on Monday night. Got stuck. Mark and Michael thought the banana bread needed more ginger. Too bad. I was basing my self-image on their opinion of my bread. Guess I suck. And I’m out of chronological order, anyway.
Finally got around to setting up my new Wacom tablet yesterday. I can put pictures, photos, whatever, right on the tablet and trace them with the pen. Like this photo of Lauren:
Winter is coming. Please let me close in on myself. The bathroom tile will be cold in the morning. The shower already isn’t strong enough and neither is the space heater. Everything is so hard. So stiff. Toes. Finger bones. I should go out. Don’t make me go out. What will you think when you see my face falling down into my lap? How will you feel about me then?
Things are getting better. Yesterday wasn’t quite as hellish as Wednesday. Finished reading Lullaby, by Chuck Palahniuk. Nearly finished it on the plane to Maryland and finally picked it up again yesterday. A wicked fun read. It’s like candied ginger — a treat that’s got a bite to it.
I need a moment to gush. I have the best boyfriend in the world. Okay, end of moment.
Just finished baking ginger banana bread to take to Mark’s house tonight. Don’t know how it tastes yet. We’re watching the second Eckhart Tolle tape. Along with Theresa and Sharon, Michael’s coming and Ruby, too. This will be interesting.
Took 2 Xanax so I’d sleep on the plane. They worked. Don’t remember getting on the plane. Don’t remember stopping in Kansas City. Don’t remember getting to BART or depositing my check from Ellen or buying pizza at Arinel on the way home. I did remember to set my VCR before leaving on Friday so that I could wake up at 8pm after sleeping all day and watch this with Michael: